Mama Love Story
On this day last year, I started having cramping. It took me 10 hours of lying on the floor, unable to sleep, to tell Travis we needed to get our butts to the hospital. I think we were in denial that this was just a temporary issue that would go away and I’d make it past 32 weeks pregnant. After spending three days in the hospital with no real answers and 1 cm dilated (what I now know was early labor)… I was discharged and told to return if things got significantly worse. With our house in mid-renovation, Travis and I watched the movie Encanto while I focused on trying to not believe that things indeed were getting much worse.
I wasn’t ready!
I had planned to take 2 months off work early to do my huuuge pre baby to-do-list… I DIDN’T EVEN START IT. Now I couldn’t even focus for 2 seconds on what the hell to put in my hospital bag.
I held off for as long as I could, but within 24 hours, we needed to go back to the hospital. When we arrived and they checked me, I was 5 to 6 cm dilated. I was so thankful not to be in confusing labor limbo anymore. I think Travis might have had a mental breakdown as we both still didn’t feel ready to meet our little man. But Levi was apparently ready to meet us!
Levi Felix came into our world at 11:37 pm that evening. He spent the next 3 weeks in NICU. Over those 3 weeks, I remember waking up at 5 am most mornings driving to the hospital and thinking…
‘Ive got the most important job ever! I’m not a nurse or a Doctor, but I’m a mom! My little boy is waiting for me right now.’
It was a Hella stressful period as I thought about my to-do-list and the drywall dust laying everywhere back at home, my new pumping schedule, and going to the hospital multiple times per day. But we did it. I remember how I felt when I was finally told he could come home with us and now…
I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN A YEAR!
Levi, today you are one year earth side. Although I still like to believe you aren’t really 1 year old for another 2 months, our due date! We like to think we had ‘bonus Levi time’. Time to hold you in our arms. Time we got to learn how to be your parents better, quicker.
You are a crazy happy baby, who loves all new people, being endlessly tickled, and sometimes also, you can be a ball full of emotions. We love taking you swimming and chasing you on our knees around the house and under the table.
Travis and I wanted to be parents so badly and I knew he would make a wonderful father. He truly enjoys making others happy, has always been such a hard worker and is very responsible.
I love being a child alongside Levi. It’s what I most looked forward to. I am always trying to be the best mom I can possibly be, which is probably the most stressful part about being a mom. Being completely submerged in motherhood, it’s been a non-stop mess of trying to research the current baby problem, figure out my new sleep tactics with a brand new floor mattress situation and trying to stop worrying about the milk situation. Did I read to him enough? Did I give enough food variety? DID WE TAKE ENOUGH PHOTOS?
It’s definitely not easy, but I can honestly say there were many times I was a bit bored in my pre-baby life. I enjoy this new challenge though many times I’ve wondered if I really realized how hard this was going to be.
I don’t think I’d have made it through the year without some very wonderful inspirational ladies by my side. The Village! It exists and I honestly don’t think I have seen anything more beautiful - a real supportive community.
When I hold my baby, life seems to make sense. I have a wonderful purpose. The best part is being able to see the beauty of life from the very start; teaching me what really matters in life and what things to let go of.
Cheers to the hardest year of our lives, to the most special baby to us, and the most love we’ve both seen.