Worth the Journey

My mama story really began 10 years ago. Like many others, my youthful life choices had the end goal of becoming a parent. I did all the things in the order that society valued: university, marriage, career, purchasing a house to fit a growing family. I was fortunate with the relative ease in which I achieved these milestones. However, the one which I most desired, the entire purpose of the others, would not be realized without significant emotional and financial hardship. 

After roughly two years of disappointment, my husband and I sought medical help. We were referred to Aurora Reproductive Care by our family doctor. Following four failed IUI attempts, and a round of IVF that wielded 6 embryos but was also unsuccessful, we underwent a simple genetic test. We learned that my husband has Robertsonian Translocation - his 13th and 14th chromosomes are fused, making it nearly impossible for us to conceive. If I desired to carry, our only option was to use donor sperm. 

Selection of a donor was an overwhelming process of searching through thousands of profiles until we found a suitable match to our criteria. We then had four unsuccessful IUI attempts, so we went back to the "catalogs" and chose another donor. Unfortunately, we remained unsuccessful. 

Each month, our hearts broke a little more…

It seemed that we just weren't going to be parents. What made these few years even more difficult for us was the ease that everyone around us had at getting pregnant. It seemed that every corner I turned, a sister, friend, colleague, or stranger was pregnant. Even more hurtful, some of those closest to us would complain about their pregnancies or parenthood. Feeling the lack of empathy from others I began distancing myself from many. I couldn't bare to be around those who didn't realize the beautiful experience they had wasn't accessible to all and didn't demonstrate compassion. Some of these relationships continue to be strained to this day.

Devastated, emotionally and financially drained, I gave up. We sold our perfect family home as I couldn't stand living there with my dreams of filling it with children dashed. We built a new home that was perfect for our new goals and enjoyed it. We began to adjust to the reality of being childless professionals, focusing on our careers, furthering our education, and our extra-curricular and volunteer activities, but my husband and I both felt something was missing. After much discussion and deliberation, we decided to try again. We went back to Aurora to discuss our options, chose another donor and began treatments for IUI with a round of medications to promote super ovulation. However, we were faced with more failure. 

At this point we had recommitted. We were determined to be parents and we'd do what was necessary. Further consultation with Dr. Case at Aurora, we decided to go all in. Yet another donor was chosen and I began the medication regime for another round of IVF in January 2022. We successfully developed 6 embryos. Our first embryo transfer did not implant but our team helped us stay hopeful; we had 5 more possible attempts and there was no reason to believe we wouldn't get one. Still, it was hard to remain positive. 

"We received your test result..."

Until a sunny afternoon last March (I like to think it was sunny but I honestly don't remember). I was driving home from work, just crossing University bridge when I got a phone call from a nurse at Aurora. The simple phrase "We received your test result..." was one that I was all to familiar with so I didn't expect the rest of the sentence: "it was positive." My initial responce was to inform the nurse that I was driving and needed a moment to be able to park. I continued to drive across the bridge in silence, trying to process what I just heard. Once I was across and safely out of traffic, I asked the nurse to repeat herself. With a slight chuckle she confirmed what I thought I had heard. I couldn't believe it! Finally, after 10 years of tests, medication, expensive procedures, and heartbreak we successfully became pregnant. It was a dream come true and I couldn't wait until my husband was off work to share the news! I called him immediately. 

Fast forward to the present, I am sitting on my couch snuggling my perfect baby boy through a nap, feeling grateful for the team at Aurora, and the infinite joy that is motherhood. Though the road was full of potholes, detours, and dead ends, the final destination was more than worth the journey.

I recognize that many couples do not get the same success that my husband and I have had. I share this story to celebrate my happiness but also to help others who are or have fought the challenges of infertility. Throughout the fight, I found the more I spoke about the challenges we faced, the better I was able to cope with the emotional turmoil.

I hope to help others realize they are not alone in their struggle to become parents. Difficulty with infertility is surprisingly common; it's unfortunate it has been a taboo topic to discuss